Thirteen years ago, I remember standing on the square of my hometown, Woodstock, Il and partaking in a candle lighting ceremony amongst a group of women who had, in some capacity, been affected by Domestic Violence. It was October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I was an intern in my Master’s Program at a Domestic Violence shelter. Little did I know at the time, how my heart and eyes would be opened and changed with regards to the impact of abuse in our society.
The statistics of Domestic Violence in America are alarming: 1/ 4 women and 1/6 men suffer abuse in a relationship (this only reflects those cases reported). Approximately every 9 seconds, a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a friend, a partner are being assaulted or beaten. Compounded to that are the verbal, emotional, financial, and spiritual abuse that is pervasive and ongoing. If these travesties are cultivated in a country that stands on a foundation of freedom and equal rights for all, imagine then, a culture where a woman is still considered property, where she is part of a population where 78 % live in poverty, and chances of her receiving an education beyond 6th grade are marginal, at best.
This past summer, I was exposed once again to the tragic costs of this societal epidemic traveling to Lusaka, Zambia in Africa with an incredible a team from ExtendingHands, a nonprofit organization of which I am proud to be a board member. One of our main goals was to create and carry out a conference to educate women on abuse: what abuse is, the types of abuse, and its impact on their minds, bodies, and souls. Many of the women have been abused since they were young girls--they grew into womanhood way before their time. Most have had to ignore their own needs, let alone their hopes and dreams for a better future, in order to care not only for their own children, but for other family members who became orphans as a result of their parents succumbing to HIV/AIDS.
The costs of DV are great and are not limited by economic, racial, religious or even regional boundaries—this truly is a global problem. It results in many losses: loss of lives, loss of a sense of self, loss of a healthy family system, loss of a healthy and flourishing community at large. The impact of abuse not only affects these systems at an emotional and physical level, but also creates financial, medical, and legal burdens that most of the time, are beyond the ability of the victims to resolve for themselves.
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| 'The Gathering' Conference in Lusaka, Zambia June2012 |
It was important for our team to bring to these beautiful women in Zambia, some hope---the Truth about who they are, not what they have come to believe from the lies and abuse of others, not through the cultural laws under which they have been oppressed, but the Truth of who they were created to be. And once again, I had the privilege of participating in a candlelight ceremony, amongst a group of very strong and resilient women who had a contagious faith of Hope. And in that Spirit, we stood together, holding a light to the truth that we were created out of love, to be loved, and to live out our potential in love. And that Truth has no geographic, no cultural, and no legal limits!
