FAITHFUL

The text, the news, the shock. Then there was the changing of airline tickets, the packing, the quick goodbyes, and the realization I was leaving my home in Zambia and it would no longer be mine when I came back periodically. I was going back to the states to take care of my mom. This seemed like a dream, a nightmare really. My mom was healthy, spry, worked out, and ate well. This was not the plan…but who are we to think we have things figured out? 

Though the transition of moving back to the states was already in process, this was not. New roles with our organization were taking us stateside and I had not even had the time to really process that yet, let alone having to leave at the drop of a hat. Brief tears trickled down my face as my husband closed the gate and my home disappeared behind the 10 foot tall metal doors as he drove me to the airport. That was all I had time for because we needed to talk about everything we could in the hour plus drive to put me on a plane. There was no time for tears. Not yet.  

I was going back to my mom’s house, not my house, because we didn’t have one. I was leaving the only home I felt like was mine in the past 8 years, at least. Believe it or not Zambia was a place of stability for me. A place that I called home. And now I was going back to uncertainty again, not just with my mom, but for my husband and I. We did not have any idea where we were going to live when we did plan on coming back and now that was a glaring reality. We also did not know how we were going to afford to live back in the states on our support or how God was going to provide a vehicle for us. There were so many questions, so many unknowns. 

I’ll be honest, the thought of dealing with not having a home, financial instability, and the health of my mom was taking a toll. I had done all this before and I felt like I had done my time. I wanted to arrive in the states with a home, a car, health, and security wrapped up in a box with a bow neatly tied on top. 

That did not happen. But in the weeks that followed and in the waiting on God, He showed me once and again, that He is faithful. He is enough. If you are feeling like your whole world is in upheaval, sit at the feet of the Father and be reminded that He loves you more than anything and He will do for you what is best in His eyes for His glory and honor. 

There is much more to this story, and the ending is still being written, but I sit now in a house God has provided for us to rent (with our two dogs!), a vehicle that is going to be given to us in a couple weeks, and my mom who is in good spirits in spite of many challenges. Jehovah-Jireh.