The Pilgrims….it conjures up a picture in our minds of those white collared travelers to the New Land. During this time of year we reminisces on the story. The story of those who left one place and journeyed to another. Risking it all for religious freedom. Following God out of their “exile” in Europe. We many times think back on this and yet are so far removed from it that it becomes just the story we celebrate but what if that pilgrim history became our pilgrim identity? 

This pilgrim history goes so much farther back though. Back to Abraham and the call to leave what he had to go to where God was calling him. The journey of Abraham and his descendants end up in exile though, but we can’t stay in Egypt, even though many times it seems safer. 

We must not get comfortable, we must follow that wanderlust with the God who calls us to journey with Him through the wilderness to the promise land. Learning to trust, learning more about Him, learning that He provides, and learning that He is the only God that is worthy of our praise. 

In the book, Wander, by Michelle Van Loon, she reminds us that, “Godly contentment will keep us in a state of discontentment with the world around us. It will help us recognize temporary comforts such as a full stomach and a safe place in which to lay our heads are not the destination in our lives. Godly contentment makes pilgrims out of us.” 

The call begins as it did for us, in a still small voice to follow. A call to set out and trust the same God who called Abraham and Moses. Then there is ultimate journey of our Lord and Savior who left heaven  and came to earth and followed a path to the cross for us. 

Are we willing to identify as a pilgrim? During this Thanksgiving week, let’s ponder our pilgrim identity and our willingness to journey with the God who calls us to this. 

The world outside was so quiet. The sound of the wind going through the pine trees and the birds chirping prepared my heart for the prayer retreat I was about to embark on. I had wondered what I should be focusing on in this time with God and what questions I should be asking. But what came to be so evident is that I just needed to focus on Him. That was it. I did not need any questions answered or dilemmas fixed. He was all I needed in the craziness of what 2020 has become. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of things I wanted answers to, but being captivated by God makes everything else fade away. 

He is God, the starmaker, the soulwaker, the God I can’t take my eyes off of. Does God have that pull for you? That amazing attraction that you can’t stop looking at? What if we never dropped our gaze to the distractions of this earth? The lyrics of this song by Phil Wickham were the starting point for my retreat. This is who I can rest in despite all that is going on. And in this truth, the truth of who God is, I laid down my life again as His servant, surrendered and satisfied, not needing answers or a plan or a path for the future, just Him….

As my mom says, “I am living for an audience of ONE.” Are you living for an audience of ONE? The ONE? Who are you preforming for? Who are you trying to please? Who are you needing? Who or what has pulled your eyes away from the the ONE that is high above, “wrapped in light and crowned in love?” May we, more so now than ever before, keep our eyes on the only ONE who is sovereign, holy, just, merciful, loving, truthful, and holds this earth in His Creator hands. 

Starmaker

Standing high above

Wrapped in light and crowned in love

Dark shaker

It trembles at your name

And here with you we are amazed

[Pre-Chorus]

And I can't look away

I am captivated

What else can I say

But sing in adoration

[Chorus]

You are holy

You are holy

High above the earth

You are holy

You are holy

High above the earth

[Verse 2]

Creator

What mysteries you hold

Your words worth more than wells of gold

Soulwaker

You bring our hearts to life

And here with you we're satisfied

Link to song-  Starmaker

GOODBYE DURING COVID-19

I woke up that morning and could not breathe. I felt like I was totally unprepared for what was happening that day.  I looked at his room scattered with clothes, suitcases, and his backpack ready for international travel. He had done this before, our youngest and only son, the year before. He had travelled by himself back home from Zambia for 6 weeks. The difference then, he had come back. This time he was leaving for adulthood, for his summer home to work before he heads off to college. This was goodbye. 

I think all that had transpired before this is what made it so hard. Covid-19 made it hard. When we had made the concession to let Carter, our son, go home early before we would head home for a summer furlough back in November of 2019, it was a different time. When there was no talk of Covid-19, no flight interruptions, no economies falling apart, and no mass world uncertainty. There were going to be family and friends he was going to stay with, a job at a summer camp that would start in May, and a planned send off to college in the fall.

Our plans were turned sideways. By March we were holding our breath that his April flight would still be ok. We wondered if we should “get him out now.” As so many other expats were doing. But where would he go back to? Everyone was on lock down. Come April our fear was realized as his flight was cancelled. We then had to make the decision of whether or not to wait for that ticket and flight to “come back” (realizing it probably wasn’t) or cancel and book a new ticket, a new ticket at 4 times the cost. The world was acting crazy and we didn’t know what to do. The emails were “get out now” and we knew our son needed to get back regardless of what he was going back to. We prayed and I (notice I didn’t say, "we") wrung my hands for more than a week as we went back and forth on getting him out on the only airline left flying out of Zambia. I finally swallowed hard, and we did it. We then had four days to get him ready to go. Four days that I did not spend preparing myself. I did make his favorite meals and we played games and got his favorite shawarma in town, but I did not think about what this send off truly was.

It all happened so fast and all of a sudden we were sending him off on a lone plane out of our host country to go home to a mass pandemic to live with his sister who had also had her life turned upside down by this. The secure jobs they both had set up for the summer were all but a hopeful dream at this point, and the graduation party we wanted to have for Carter seems like it might be online at this point. The plan of staying till September on furlough was to get him settled at college for his first year and move our daughter back to college as well; seems like wishful thinking right now that anyone will be going back to college in September. What are they/we supposed to do? Leave them to what? To where? 

Sending your youngest off on a plane at the mid-end of his senior year in high school to start his adult life was hard to begin with, but put all this in the mix and this mom was really a mess;) I am not usually like this. I have always been about growing our kids up to be independent. But this was hard. I am so glad that I can cry out to my God who hears me and understands. So glad to have family and friends (and a good member care counselor!!) who I could ask for prayer from. 

All this uncertainty reminds those of us who are in Christ that we are part of an unshakable kingdom. Cared for by a God who is still on his throne. And a clear reminder that this is not our true home. Goodbyes in all forms are happening right now, change is happening right now, the future is not certain, but we serve a God who is worthy of our hello every morning, who is unchanging, and who is certain about where this world is going. Let’s rest in that right now.

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:28

JOURNEY

A typical road in Zambia

I love it when God seems to be speaking something specific through not only our morning devotions but in church as well. We have been reading through Exodus as we finished Genesis and it has been so neat to read the miraculous journey of the Israelites so far. We also went to a church here in Zambia and the new series is, you guessed it, on Exodus. Then, we listened to a sermon from our home church back in WI, and it was, yup, on Moses and his walk of faith. His journey. 

As God liberated the Israelites from Egypt and the slavery they experienced there, He did not bring them into paradise. He brought them into the wilderness first. The journey they were on was not for their happiness, but for their growth, for God to show them who He was and to draw them unto Himself. In Exodus 19:4-5, it states, “You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles wings and brought you to myself. Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine.” The point of God liberating us from our sin and slavery is not just the liberation or freeing in and of itself, but to draw us to Himself, to bring us into His lap, to adopt us as sons and daughters. That is the true miracle of the Exodus. That He wanted the Hebrew people to come to Him, know Him, experience Him. That God would send His Son to die on a cross to fulfill that covenant brings these verses full circle. 

The journey of the Hebrew people in Exodus clearly defines what our journey of faith also might look like. It is from death to life, but that life is found in the wilderness many times. When it is only our Father God who will uphold us, save us, feed us, rescue us, and love us as His adopted children. So that we can “see” God for who He is. The Hebrew’s were terrified of God’s revelation of Himself on Mt. Sinai. God was descending to speak to them, but they were afraid. How many times does God want to show us more of who He is, but, like the Hebrews, we are afraid. (Unhealthy fear, not the reverence and awe fear that we should have.) We are afraid of where He is asking us to go or what He is asking us to leave. 

The life of the Christian is always one of journey, it is always one of going out. There is no one in the New Testament that was not on a journey. The definition of journey says that it is a progression in going from one place to another. It is not aimless or undirected. In your walk with God, are you moving from immature to mature? Or are you willing to put on the sandals that will never wear out and head into the wilderness like the Hebrew people in Exodus? Would you follow God into the wilderness from slavery in Egypt just so you could experience and see God for who He is and hear from Him clearly and personally? 

We must continue on in the journey. Where are you in your journey with God? I pray if you have taken a detour on the path God has you on, get back on the right one. SO THAT you can receive the “adoption as sons…crying, ‘Abba Father!’” (Galatians 4:4-7) Let the God of the universe draw you unto Himself. May that be the first step of YOUR journey. You never know where it might lead…

ANSWERED PRAYER

This past Valentines’ Day, Friday, I was not really thinking about Valentine’s Day. I was devastated, hurt, and dismayed. It had already been a tough week with so many that we minister to in heavy, heartbreaking situations but then it hits home. I was holding back hot tears of hurt and anger all day. I was heartbroken and sad. Then I reached out to a couple friends. One here in Zambia and one back home. I asked them to pray. And they did.

As I sat on my bed with the humid air pouring into our bedroom window feeling mad, sad, and frustrated, I told God I needed Him. I quickly pulled up FB on my phone and saw a sermon from Founder’s Week at Moody by Francis Chan. I thought I would watch it as I was trying to stop crying and gather myself. I thought maybe God had something to say to me. God answers prayer… 

It was exactly what I needed to hear. It reminded me that our decision to live for Christ is not about playing it safe, or having all our ducks in a row, or as I was thinking last Friday, that our kids should be “blessed” (in my view of course) for their obedience and sacrifice to live here and do ministry. It is about being Jesus to a lost world. Sharing the gospel to those that need to hear, and being willing to sacrifice all for this calling. ALL. I needed to have this 2x4 to the head again. The prayers of my friends were breaking through by me finding that sermon and by my heart being moved from my own self pity (or the pity for my kids here)  to thinking about why we left everything behind to come here to Zambia. God answers prayer…

My heart was so miraculously lifted in those hours following my reaching out to my friends for prayer, I was able to take a deep breath and go out, regroup everyone, and suggest that we get out of Dodge and go get pizza in Lusaka for dinner. I said, we are not going to let satan get us down because God is in control of all these seemingly disheartening things. We were going to go have pizza with Jesus. Because He is enough in all circumstances, all situations, and in all difficulties and suffering. Jesus is the lover of our soul. God answers prayer…

Best Valentine’s Day ever. 

Francis Chan sermon