BETWEEN HERE AND THERE

There are so many things between here and there. There are lives that are between death and life. Relationships between brokenness and wholeness. Hopes between desire and fulfillment. My own heart is between here and home. We are between so many seasons and chapters of our lives. We are between here and there.

My heart aches for all that I want to see happen in not only my own life but in my family and in ministry. I ache to see my prayer answered that, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” I ache for the lives that are so broken. I ache for the hopelessness of life here to be “fixed.” I ache for government to not be corrupt here. I ache for the Church to walk out what they say they believe. And while I ache for so many things I ache for something even greater. The coming of King Jesus to make all things right. 

In this season of Advent let us remember we are between the first coming of Jesus and the second, between the manger and the fulfillment of Scripture.  That is our Hope. In all the ache, in all the now and not yet, in all the looking back as we look ahead, we can stand firm on the promise that Jesus is coming back and will make everything perfect. 

Do you look forward to this? Do you have HOPE? I pray you can rest in the Peace that has been given to us who are called sons and daughters. No matter what is going on between here and there, may you know your life is hidden in Christ and is being made new. May we have the same faith as the prophets of old who proclaimed the coming of a Messiah they never lived to see. How are you proclaiming Jesus crucified, resurrected, and coming again? May all of us live as if we are watching for our Lord and Savior and may our mouths share the good news that came in the form of a baby in a manger this Christmas Season, a season in-between. 

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.   Isaiah 9:6-7

CHANGE

Another blog about fall you ask? Well, no. Here in Zambia it is not fall, it is the “hot dry season.” So phrases about the falling leaves, color, and the way an October frost settles on the morning ground, is well, not going to be the topic for discussion. 

We have had change though in this season of ministry. Change that involves prayerful action, and wise conversations. We pray for the Spirit to fall on all of us as we navigate what is next. 

But as I consider the ways in which things will always change around us, I ask myself this-how much do we desire change in us? In our own relationship with God? Do we ask God to change us, mold us, and make us more like His Son? When was the last time you “gave” God permission, actually asked Him, to change you? To grow you, move you out from where you are? As everyone talks about change in terms of seasons, autumn, and the weather, let’s remember that God wants to change us. Don’t just let everything change around you. 

We are to be in the process of sanctification. Moving toward the perfection we will only gain when Christ returns to make all things right. I know I need to change….because none of us are ever done. So what am I, you, doing to change? We need to spend time with the One we want to be like. We need to study the Word that He gave us, and we need to be in worshipful communion with those who will sharpen us like iron, all done with the power of the Spirit, who indwells in us. Challenging for me and I hope for you as well. 

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6 

SABBATH BLUE

The blue was blending into a deep lake like color, the shading on the boat was difficult but was giving the depth needed. Color was being created, waves given definition, and the sunset made the focal point. I was creating beauty. Yes, I, Krisitn, was painting a picture. Now, must of you who know me, would only assume I could paint a room, well, who am I kidding, Ben paints the rooms! I haven’t picked up a paint brush since painting by number when my kids were little! And yes, frankly my picture looks like that, I know;)

Over the years, though, I have seen the vast importance of beauty, the arts, literature, and good story. My friends from other personality types have shown me that Type A is not the be all end all. I have chosen to pull myself toward a healthy middle where I see the goodness in my, get r done, functional, personality but I also see where it has been marred by sin and worthy of assessing regularly. I have come to appreciate so profoundly a good book, an opera, a deep movie, a theater show that expresses the human experience from a different perspective, or marveling at the softness of Black Labrador ears. Drinking in the joy in Sabbath and engaging in creating beauty are good places for a Type A to dwell in. 

I realized that in my love of nature, which is God’s handiwork, I was stopping there. It’s like I forgot, or was never encouraged, to actually use the creativity that God has given me to create beauty with Him. To be a part of the built environment. Creating beauty, art, space, home, and places where people see a glimpse of the God we are in the image of, which has immeasurable worth when it is done to please Him and be used by Him. 

I challenged our team (and myself) to paint a picture of what joy in their Sabbath looked like. This was outside the box for all of us. But it is a good reminder that joy, and Sabbath should be filled with beauty. The beauty of relationship, food around a table, a sunset, watching the night sky, or reading a book that moves you to tears, a documentary that reminds you of an issue you are passionate about, or the silence of listening to God. But to Sabbath, we must cease doing, to create, we must give up control and focus on the creating, and to enjoy beauty we must realize the gift it is from our Father first. 

It is a privilege to create beauty. I used it to remind me of that sunset boat ride on Lake Kariba, where the blue water and still blue sky met at the end of that day, a day where we trusted God in our resting, our Sabbath. Where we remembered our 25 years of marriage and saw the beauty in all God has done. 

Where are you on this journey of beauty? 

Friendship with God

They warn you, they tell you, you read accounts of what it is like on the mission field. You nod your head, agree, and think things like, “Yes, I’m prepared!” or “Wow, but I think I’ll be ok!”. But the mission field can be very lonely. In a good way most of the time, but lonely none the less. In a way, I feel like God has been preparing us for this over the years. Slowly moving us out of circles of friends and away from our old stopping grounds, and usual places and people. Pressing me into Him and Him alone. 

But sometimes you just miss hanging with family and friends on a Friday night or being able to stop in to have a cup of coffee with your best friend. You think about a friend back home but realize it’s 2:00 in the morning back in the states and well, no point in messaging, you think, as you plan on doing it later. But then life gets in the way and you don’t get to it. You see a message from someone at 10:00pm at night but are just crawling into bed, and so tired so you say to yourself, I’ll read it in the morning. Keeping up with family and friends is hard from the field. It’s hard as you are trying to communicate on a grand scale with everyone via newsletters, blog posts (which I haven’t gotten to lately!), emails, and social media posts. But also keeping up with individual relationships becomes difficult. You have people vying for your attention on the field and those from home who need you as well. You have your organization who needs emails from you, conference calls abound and the hours of your day ebbe away.  You are trying to balance all of it, but sometimes you feel like you are failing.

In the days when it feels like things are not working and tears of missing everyone seep from my eyes, the goodness of God overflows in His friendship. A friendship that is available to us. His Word says, “And the scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,’ and he was called God’s friend.” Also in John 15:13-15 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”  

It is unbelievable that the God of the universe, the creator of everything, the God who is holy, holy, holy, and worthy of all our praise and who does His will on this earth is also a God who comes close to us as a friend. The presence of our Father God on a morning when the ache for those from home is crushing your heart is the most precious hug you can receive. He is there, listening to us, to you, He wants to be invited into my pain, my ache, and yours. He has something to say to us, and when He speaks we see Him in all the fullness of who He is. We fall on our knees in awe and at the same time cry out, Abba Father. And then and only then can we say, not my will but yours be done. The words that are written in my journal continually are, “I trust You.”  The two things we see in the above verses are believe and obey, then we are friends of God. Where do you need to believe and obey? Even in your hurt or pain? His friendship waits. 

God is there waiting to be a friend. And because He is GOD, the one true God, He can touch your life in a way no one else can. What a friend we have in Jesus! Thank goodness for the friendship of God. The lover of our souls….healer of our hearts….guide to our journey. 

TWENTY FIVE AND COUNTING

Twenty five years ago today, the clouds were gray and while there were hints of the end of winter it was quite chilly. Ben and I entered into the covenant of marriage so naively and unprepared. As we look back we realize against the odds we have made it thus far and there is only one reason for that, God. 

Today, twenty five years later, Ben and I sat on our front porch here in Zambia this morning pondering Hebrews 12:18-29 (We’ve been going through Hebrews) and our twenty five years of marriage. And while you don’t usually think of the end of Hebrews 12 with marriage, I did see an amazing truth and connection. That God’s kingdom is unshakable (v. 27, 28) and therefore in that power and truth we can stand firm in our marriage. As God has shaken things before, He will shake things again to such an extent that only what God deems His, will be left. We have this knowledge in Jesus, “the mediator of the new covenant” the eternal covenant, and the author and perfecter of our faith. Faith that will stand at the end of time. 

So marriage….As many of you know, Ben and I could have easily ended up like many other marriages. Done, broken, divorced, destroyed. But the power of God through His Spirit, His Word and His grace has brought us through. Through our own brokenness, sin, and selfishness. If God is powerful enough to create the heavens and the earth, the creatures and mankind, and sustain all these things to this point, is He not then enough for us in the darkest parts of our marriages? If He holds together His kingdom, if He speaks of the coming judgement and the shaking of all created things and His heavenly Jerusalem, if that is the power of our God, and He is not enough for us in our marriages, church, then He is not enough. For it is in our marriages that we reflect the relationship of Christ with His church, His grace and love for it, and the way in which He sacrifices for it. We are to mirror that. 

We are to serve Him, worship Him with our marriages, “in reverence and awe.” Because our, “God is a consuming fire.” As I look back to the dark part of our marriage (and don’t get me wrong! We still fight for our marriage on a daily basis now!), it is truly because of not only my trust in God but a holy fear of God. A fear based on who He is (Holy, love, just, etc.) and understanding that my life and my marriage are not about me. It is only to bring glory and honor to Him, who is high and lifted up. Church, if we do not show this broken world that the God who we claim is alive and well has the power, love, and grace to sustain, heal, restore, and help us persevere in our marriages, then truly what kind of God is He?

It calls for courage to speak out and get help, to not be comfortable and complacent, to put all other things aside to make things right, to come together, not drift apart. Don’t brush things under the rug, fight for your marriage, because you are battling against an enemy who wants to destroy. All he has to do is destroy marriage and it touches every other aspect of life, community, and society at large-children, family, work, finances, time, energy, ability to tithe, give to the poor, and do ministry in the power of a surrendered marriage.  Ask yourself today, is my marriage all that it should be? Is it what God wants it to be? Is it the expression of the fullness of Christ’s love, power, truth and grace to His church? You are never neutral, you are either moving forward or backward. Where are you? Decide, evaluate, ask God to reveal what needs to be unearthed…for the days are evil….time is of the essence, church…Be UNSHAKEABLE. 

Ben and I, in prayer this morning, with open hands, gave the next twenty five years to HIM in service (God willing;)). Will you do the same? 

This song describes how we feel about ourselves and our marriage-I/we are not enough, unless He comes….

365 MORNINGS

One year ago today I stood on our front porch here before dawn soaking in the still morning that quietly whispered the possibilities of our new life. The feather soft mist over the hills past our wall clouded the view but not my heart. I was filled with hope, anticipation, and peace. I did not, nor do I now know why God called us here as part of our journey, but He did. I thought of Carter still sleeping in his new bedroom and the girls at home we had said goodbye to, and the one we were going to be saying hello to. I remember closing my eyes and breathing in the smell of the new African morning and the dog sitting by my side. The coffee in my hands felt weightier, different, as if I was taking a sip of the unknown. I knew we had stepped onto a different battle field, different, not new. 

We knew we had been called by God and we had hurdled many mountains to follow Him here. We trusted even when nothing made sense and many doubted. But that morning and the many mornings since, we have not doubted God. We have trusted Him when marriage was hard, or the heartache of not being with our kids at home was excruciating, or the lies of the enemy abounded in our heads. It has not been easy, but it has been good. God’s sovereignty is an invisible net that is fixed underneath us as if we are trapeze artists in a circus. We feel so inadequate at times but that is when I remember He called us and therefore He will have to give us the strength, wisdom, insight, provision, and grace, to do this work that was “prepared in advance for us to do.” 

This morning as I stepped out onto our front porch for the 365th time, the scenery, the smell, the air, are more familiar but still exhilarating. I was humbly moved as I thought about this past year. All that God has done and all that He is yet to do. The view this morning was much more clear, kinda like the eyes of my heart as God has led us, one day at a time. Here is to another 365 days of waking up and stepping out onto the porch of new, endless possibilities with God. Coffee in hand and dogs by my side.